Becoming a foster parent is a big decision; the first few weeks can feel like a whirlwind of emotions and experiences. If you’re about to welcome your first foster child or are in the early days of fostering, here’s what you might expect and some advice to help you navigate this journey.

Diving in at the Deep End

It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions when you open your home and heart to a foster child and the initial days can feel daunting.

There’s no universal first day; everyone will experience it differently. Some children may arrive shy and withdrawn, while others might be chatty and full of energy. Either way, there is somebody new moving into your home and that can be a big change for everyone! The therapeutic approach begins the moment they arrive. Focus on creating a safe and welcoming environment by showing empathy and understanding.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Every foster parent has moments of doubt, wondering if they’re doing the right thing or if they’re truly prepared for the challenges ahead. Remember, feeling this way is perfectly normal, and it’s a sign that you care

Adjusting to Each Other and Finding Your Rhythm

As you settle into the first week or two, you’ll begin to get a sense of each other. For the child, your home is an unfamiliar environment, and it may take time for them to adjust. You’ll be learning about their likes, dislikes, routines, and triggers.

Not every bedtime routine will go smoothly, and not every meal will go down well. Be patient with yourself and the young person and your bond will begin to form.

The Moment It All Begins to Click

While the early days can feel chaotic, you’ll notice times when things naturally fall into place. Maybe you’ll share a laugh, maybe they’ll open up about their day, you may even get a hug!  Make sure you use these small wins to remind you why you chose to foster.

It’s important to remember that every fostering experience is different. Some children adapt quickly and settle in right away, while others may take weeks or even months to feel secure. Remember your therapeutic training and recognise that there’s no right or wrong timeline. Healing and trust take time.

Trust Your Training

The doubts may creep in at any time. When they do, remind yourself of the training and preparation you’ve undergone. A therapeutic approach reminds us to stay grounded in the skills and strategies learned during preparation

The skills you learned were designed to help you in moments like these. Therapeutic strategies like validating emotions, active listening, and setting gentle but firm boundaries will guide you through difficult moments.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to your support network — your social worker, us at Flourish, or fellow foster parents in the Flourish Family. They’ve been where you are and can offer you guidance and reassurance.

 

Day-to-Day in the First Few Days

  • Meeting the Child: Whether you’ve met them beforehand or are meeting for the first time, the initial introduction can be emotional. Focus on making them feel welcome with a warm smile, a tour of the house, and maybe a small welcome gift like a cuddly toy or book.
  • Immediate Needs: Many children arrive with very few belongings, so ensure they have essentials like clothes, toiletries, and a comfortable place to sleep.
  • Routine Basics: Start introducing routines, but keep them flexible to avoid overwhelming the child. For example, establish consistent meal times and a simple bedtime routine.

Day-to-Day in Week One

  • Morning Routines: Work out how the child feels when they wake up. Some children might need quiet time, while others may prefer to be with you. Adapt mornings to their needs and help them ease into the day.
  • School or Activities: If they’re going to school, you’ll navigate school drop-offs and pick-ups. For younger children, you should find playgroups or therapeutic activities.
  • Meals Together: These can be great bonding opportunities. Be mindful of food preferences, allergies, or anxieties.
  • Evenings: Use this time to unwind with the child, whether through games, reading, or watching TV together.
  • Bedtimes: Bedtime can be challenging for children with past trauma, so patience is key. Offer consistency and reassurance.

Day-to-Day in Week Two

  • Settling Into Routines: You’ll see patterns emerge in their behaviour and preferences. Adjust your routines to fit their needs and maintain a sense of stability.
  • Boundaries and Expectations: It’s natural for children to test limits as they grow comfortable. Reinforce house rules calmly and consistently.
  • Behavioural Shifts: As trust builds, you may notice changes in their behaviour. They might open up more or maybe test boundaries. Both are signs of progress.

 

The first couple of weeks as a foster parent are a mix of challenges, emotions, and incredible rewards. With a therapeutic approach, these early days become a powerful foundation for healing and trust.

So, remember…take it one day at a time, celebrate the little victories, trust in yourself and your therapeutic training, and let the experience unfold at its own pace. Fostering is a journey, not a race and your effort and love are making such a difference in a child’s life, and that’s truly amazing.

If you’re considering starting your fostering journey – why not get in touch today?